Every day brings new excitement. Lately I've been having a lot of flashbacks to my childhood, remembering things that my father and I did together. I have learned a lot from my dad, both what I should do and things I should avoid.
I've been thinking a lot about what I pass on, what pieces of advice and what skills I should share with my child, whether they're a boy or girl. Strangely I feel like I can pass things on to a girl, I was raised by a single mother who was fairly open about everything. But I do know that the bulk of a girl's lessons will be taught by her mother and I am lucky to have a fantastic wifey who will be a great mother.
We took a trip across town today and went what to was supposed to be a baby 'super-warehouse'. It was a big store, granted, but it didn't seem worth the trip, truth be told. I wasn't going to come away empty-handed, so we got a couple of those sappy bibs, "I love my Daddy" and "I love my Mummy". Can't wait to put those on our little one!
Another thing that came out of the trip is that we decided to go with white furniture, and add some decals on depending on our baby's sex. This will be our first child, not our only one, so there's little economic point in getting blue/pink furniture given the second, and potentially third, might be different. A lot of the furniture is nice, but quite pricey. The in-laws apparently have a bed and some drawers we can have, so we'll give those a coat of glossy white paint and pick up some nice decals once we know if it's a boy or girl.
Just on that, I'd always thought I'd be a traditionalist and not want to know the gender. But now that I am in the situation, I can't wait to know! It will make it all so much more real, knowing what to expect, and really fine-tuning the list of names. Our doctor said he's able to determine the gender at about 16 weeks, so we have a little wait yet.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
My first present to my baby, and all is as it should be
All week I've been thinking about what will be the first present I will get for my baby. As we don't know the gender yet, it needs to be neutral.
After work I went to a baby shop at the local shopping centre and looked around. There were some nice beanies and teddies, both of which I thought could be nice. But none of them really seemed to be what I was after. I wandered around the store and found some lovely, white jumpsuits. They weren't plain, they had a nice texture to them and some nice silver trim. I picked out a size 000 and decided it would be what our baby wears when it comes home from hospital.
As much as I'm looking forward to the pregnancy unfolding, to things like the first ultrasound and first kick, I really just want the baby to come along now so we can start getting to know each other!
We headed off to the doctor's after that and got the remaining results from the blood test. Everything is fine, the wifey's levels of everything are normal and she doesn't have AIDS or Hepatitis, not that we thought she did!
After work I went to a baby shop at the local shopping centre and looked around. There were some nice beanies and teddies, both of which I thought could be nice. But none of them really seemed to be what I was after. I wandered around the store and found some lovely, white jumpsuits. They weren't plain, they had a nice texture to them and some nice silver trim. I picked out a size 000 and decided it would be what our baby wears when it comes home from hospital.
As much as I'm looking forward to the pregnancy unfolding, to things like the first ultrasound and first kick, I really just want the baby to come along now so we can start getting to know each other!
We headed off to the doctor's after that and got the remaining results from the blood test. Everything is fine, the wifey's levels of everything are normal and she doesn't have AIDS or Hepatitis, not that we thought she did!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Fulfilling a long-made promise
My wife and I met three years ago today. I was a smoker then and have been almost the whole time, until today.
I had long ago promised that I would quit once she became pregnant. I have smoked for 10 years (since I was 16) and whilst I don't blame anyone but myself, being the child of two parents who smoked did make it seem less bad than I think it is.
I'd always vowed that I wouldn't be a smoking parent, largely because of an ad the Quit organisation ran about 10 years ago, where a little boy is watching a video from his younger years, with him and his father in it. The dad is smoking, mucking around with his kid. The song 'Cats in the Cradle' plays over the top, and it becomes clear that the father died of a smoking-related health issue and left his boy fatherless.
Really stayed with me that one, so today I started on the patches and down the path to better health and a longer life with my family.
I had long ago promised that I would quit once she became pregnant. I have smoked for 10 years (since I was 16) and whilst I don't blame anyone but myself, being the child of two parents who smoked did make it seem less bad than I think it is.
I'd always vowed that I wouldn't be a smoking parent, largely because of an ad the Quit organisation ran about 10 years ago, where a little boy is watching a video from his younger years, with him and his father in it. The dad is smoking, mucking around with his kid. The song 'Cats in the Cradle' plays over the top, and it becomes clear that the father died of a smoking-related health issue and left his boy fatherless.
Really stayed with me that one, so today I started on the patches and down the path to better health and a longer life with my family.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Grandparents
This morning our parents came over for breakfast. As we were all sitting down over a coffee, the wifey said we had some news. She decided to play a trick on them, so she told them I'd been offered a really well-paying job in Dubai for 5 years and that we were moving over there. It was pretty silent, no reaction at all, and she quickly owned up and said, "We're having a baby!".
Her father just about jumped out of his seat and leapt over the table to kiss her (we were right). Her mother started crying (we both got that right too) and my mother just grinned. It was a nice shot of joy in our lives, as my Grandmother, Mum's mother, died a few months ago, aged a fairly young 69. Mum later told me that she was so happy her immediate thought was "Wait until I tell my mother about this", but then remembered she's gone. The circle of life...
Our parents were a bit surprised, as we'd told them we'd probably try towards the end of this year (which was true), so it has come earlier than they expected. All were rapt though and started figuring out when it was due and conceived (that must be weird, trying to figure out when your kid had sex...).
The funniest thing was that me and the in-laws were heading off to the Christening for my wife's cousin's child and given it was only early days we weren't announcing the pregnancy to the wider populace yet. I found it pretty tough to celebrate a kid's milestone and not wonder about my own child, and at one stage my mother-in-law told me to stop grinning at the younger kids as I'd give it away!
We have decided to hold off telling the 'general public' until about 10-12 weeks. We're going to tell a couple close friends but that's about it for now. I so desperately want to paint the town with the message of "I'm having a baby!" but I'm mindful of the fact that 1 in 6 women in Australia have a miscarriage, so we're just holding out until the latter part of the first trimester, just to be safe.
I got an SMS later in the day from my mother telling me should already started looking at kid's toys and presents, how cute!
Her father just about jumped out of his seat and leapt over the table to kiss her (we were right). Her mother started crying (we both got that right too) and my mother just grinned. It was a nice shot of joy in our lives, as my Grandmother, Mum's mother, died a few months ago, aged a fairly young 69. Mum later told me that she was so happy her immediate thought was "Wait until I tell my mother about this", but then remembered she's gone. The circle of life...
Our parents were a bit surprised, as we'd told them we'd probably try towards the end of this year (which was true), so it has come earlier than they expected. All were rapt though and started figuring out when it was due and conceived (that must be weird, trying to figure out when your kid had sex...).
The funniest thing was that me and the in-laws were heading off to the Christening for my wife's cousin's child and given it was only early days we weren't announcing the pregnancy to the wider populace yet. I found it pretty tough to celebrate a kid's milestone and not wonder about my own child, and at one stage my mother-in-law told me to stop grinning at the younger kids as I'd give it away!
We have decided to hold off telling the 'general public' until about 10-12 weeks. We're going to tell a couple close friends but that's about it for now. I so desperately want to paint the town with the message of "I'm having a baby!" but I'm mindful of the fact that 1 in 6 women in Australia have a miscarriage, so we're just holding out until the latter part of the first trimester, just to be safe.
I got an SMS later in the day from my mother telling me should already started looking at kid's toys and presents, how cute!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
5 weeks!
The blood test came back and we are five weeks pregnant! Further than we thought and it also means there won't be a shameful tinge on the conception!
Very excited, but it means we have about 36 weeks (they say the normal gestation period is 40 weeks, but first-time mothers usually are 41) to get ourselves ready for our first baby.
We were going to tell our parents tonight but didn't get home from the tennis until 10pm, so we've invited them over for breakfast tomorrow morning to spill the beans. We've made bets on which of them will be most excited and who will cry (in joy) first, we'll see who wins that one.
Very excited, but it means we have about 36 weeks (they say the normal gestation period is 40 weeks, but first-time mothers usually are 41) to get ourselves ready for our first baby.
We were going to tell our parents tonight but didn't get home from the tennis until 10pm, so we've invited them over for breakfast tomorrow morning to spill the beans. We've made bets on which of them will be most excited and who will cry (in joy) first, we'll see who wins that one.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
My life has just changed forever
Today my wife and I learned that we are expecting our first child.
We married in April last year and in November, decided that she would go off the pill. We weren't 'trying' in the true sense, but we were open to her becoming pregnant if that eventuated. We wanted to start properly trying toward the end of this year. My wife had been on the pill for around 10 years and we knew that it can take come time for a woman's body to be 'receptive' to conception after being on the pill for a time, so she stopped taking it and we thougt it might take 6-12 months or so, perhaps longer, to get pregnant.
Little did we know!
It seems that we're pretty potent in that area, as we are five weeks pregant, meaning she had one natural cycle before my boys made their way to her egg. This despite me being a smoker, which apparently reduces your sperm count!
Finding out we were pregnant was a bit of an accident in itself. It seemed like it had been about a month since the wifey's last period, so I got a couple of pregnancy tests. The lady at the chemist was really helpful and asked if this would be our first child, if the result was positive. I said that yes it would be, and grinned at the thought of actually having a baby. She said that the particular test kit I had was the most reliable and that you could get a false negative but not a false positive. I drove off and on the way home there were two other 'signs' - a car in front of me had a Baby on Board sign in its back window and one of the songs we played at out wedding came on the radio. It all seemed like it could be lining up for a pregnancy.
The wife did the first test before I realised and I walked into our bedroom just as she was looking at the tester. She looked a bit amazed and said, "This is a different result to what I thought it would be'. I looked down and there were two pink lines. I felt dizzy immediately and asked "Two lines means you're pregnant, right?". A quick check of the instructions confirmed this. We sat on the bed and didn't say much for twenty seconds or so. We were looking at each other and smiles began to emerge, small initially but they grew bigger. We were a little shocked, given it wasn't long since she went off the pill and we hadn't been trying very hard. We'd done no preparation - she wasn't on folate, I was still smoking and I hadn't even increased my Vegemite intake!
We talked a bit about how it was going to be a big change but one we really wanted. We knew we had to do the second test and make sure. A very long hour passed and my wife said she needed to go to the toilet again so I went and waited in the bedroom. A few minutes passed and she joined me in the bedroom. As the two lines emerged again, we realised it was true - we were going to have a baby! We wondered about how far along she was. Without going into too much detail, I hoped it was more than two weeks, as if it wasn't, our baby might have been the result of a particularly lacklustre performance on my behalf!
We woke my brother, who is staying with us, and told him. I needed to tell someone, and we also needed to be able to talk about it in front of him, it wouldn't have been fair to duck off into our room whenever we talked about it. He was pretty excited, if not a bit surprised that it was happening already.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep much last night. I kept thinking about whether it was a boy or a girl and what it would be like. Names raced through my mind - Sam is my favourite for a boy and we'd previously thought Charlie to be a nice girl's name.
I caught the train into work this morning and felt very different. It was as though I realised that the daily minutiae didn't matter so much. Stinky fellow travellers were insignificant when I thought about being responsible for raising a person. At work, I made a few calls and got us a doctor's appointment to confirm the results, and to start off our medical adventure.
I left work early and we walked into the surgery. As we sat down, a small child began to giggle at something it's mother had said and we both grinned at the irony. When it was our turn, our doctor told us of all the tests we needed to do, which started with confirming the pregnancy, but also checking my wife's blood pressure, iron levels, whether she had any diseases like AIDS or Hepatitis, and so on. She gave up some urine and blood and the urine test was positive once again. We have a nervous twenty-four wait before the blood test comes back, but it will tell us how far along our baby is.
It's been a pretty full-on 24 hours, but I am so excited about the future. My dad died when I was 16 (I'm 26 now) and I've felt the absence of a father ever since, naturally. My father-in-law is a great guy and I really couldn't wish for a better one, but still it's not quite the same, no matter how much you try and make it that way.
I am eagerly awaiting the blood test results, and really trying hard to keep this a secret for now, so keeping this blog is the best way to 'talk' about it until we share our wonderful news.
We married in April last year and in November, decided that she would go off the pill. We weren't 'trying' in the true sense, but we were open to her becoming pregnant if that eventuated. We wanted to start properly trying toward the end of this year. My wife had been on the pill for around 10 years and we knew that it can take come time for a woman's body to be 'receptive' to conception after being on the pill for a time, so she stopped taking it and we thougt it might take 6-12 months or so, perhaps longer, to get pregnant.
Little did we know!
It seems that we're pretty potent in that area, as we are five weeks pregant, meaning she had one natural cycle before my boys made their way to her egg. This despite me being a smoker, which apparently reduces your sperm count!
Finding out we were pregnant was a bit of an accident in itself. It seemed like it had been about a month since the wifey's last period, so I got a couple of pregnancy tests. The lady at the chemist was really helpful and asked if this would be our first child, if the result was positive. I said that yes it would be, and grinned at the thought of actually having a baby. She said that the particular test kit I had was the most reliable and that you could get a false negative but not a false positive. I drove off and on the way home there were two other 'signs' - a car in front of me had a Baby on Board sign in its back window and one of the songs we played at out wedding came on the radio. It all seemed like it could be lining up for a pregnancy.
The wife did the first test before I realised and I walked into our bedroom just as she was looking at the tester. She looked a bit amazed and said, "This is a different result to what I thought it would be'. I looked down and there were two pink lines. I felt dizzy immediately and asked "Two lines means you're pregnant, right?". A quick check of the instructions confirmed this. We sat on the bed and didn't say much for twenty seconds or so. We were looking at each other and smiles began to emerge, small initially but they grew bigger. We were a little shocked, given it wasn't long since she went off the pill and we hadn't been trying very hard. We'd done no preparation - she wasn't on folate, I was still smoking and I hadn't even increased my Vegemite intake!
We talked a bit about how it was going to be a big change but one we really wanted. We knew we had to do the second test and make sure. A very long hour passed and my wife said she needed to go to the toilet again so I went and waited in the bedroom. A few minutes passed and she joined me in the bedroom. As the two lines emerged again, we realised it was true - we were going to have a baby! We wondered about how far along she was. Without going into too much detail, I hoped it was more than two weeks, as if it wasn't, our baby might have been the result of a particularly lacklustre performance on my behalf!
We woke my brother, who is staying with us, and told him. I needed to tell someone, and we also needed to be able to talk about it in front of him, it wouldn't have been fair to duck off into our room whenever we talked about it. He was pretty excited, if not a bit surprised that it was happening already.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep much last night. I kept thinking about whether it was a boy or a girl and what it would be like. Names raced through my mind - Sam is my favourite for a boy and we'd previously thought Charlie to be a nice girl's name.
I caught the train into work this morning and felt very different. It was as though I realised that the daily minutiae didn't matter so much. Stinky fellow travellers were insignificant when I thought about being responsible for raising a person. At work, I made a few calls and got us a doctor's appointment to confirm the results, and to start off our medical adventure.
I left work early and we walked into the surgery. As we sat down, a small child began to giggle at something it's mother had said and we both grinned at the irony. When it was our turn, our doctor told us of all the tests we needed to do, which started with confirming the pregnancy, but also checking my wife's blood pressure, iron levels, whether she had any diseases like AIDS or Hepatitis, and so on. She gave up some urine and blood and the urine test was positive once again. We have a nervous twenty-four wait before the blood test comes back, but it will tell us how far along our baby is.
It's been a pretty full-on 24 hours, but I am so excited about the future. My dad died when I was 16 (I'm 26 now) and I've felt the absence of a father ever since, naturally. My father-in-law is a great guy and I really couldn't wish for a better one, but still it's not quite the same, no matter how much you try and make it that way.
I am eagerly awaiting the blood test results, and really trying hard to keep this a secret for now, so keeping this blog is the best way to 'talk' about it until we share our wonderful news.
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